Reader's Comment: By
all accounts, any man over the age of 30 or 40, marrying a 9 or 12 years old
girl, would be considered a paedophile in our civilized times and you cannot justify it, however
hard you may try. Would you ever marry your daughter to a 50 year old man? Also, what
do you call an act of a holy man when he fancies his adopted son's wife and
forces him to divorce her so that he could marry him?
How can he be every Muslim's Role Model?
marriage is considered as legal and successful, if the three conditions hold
marriage should have the blessings of one/both parents.
should not take any offense and acknowledge the matrimony.
of the spouses should live to repent or convey his/her displeasure at the
decision of his/her parents/guardians to bind him/her in such an alliance, long
after the marriage has taken place. The husband and wife should be happy of
being married with each other, till they die.
of the three and especially the last one, seem to have been defied or negated by
the marriage of the prophet with Ayesha (ra). I wouldn't mind marrying off my
daughter or sister, if all the three conditions get satisfied and she doesn't
live on to repent this decision taken by me on her behalf.
Now, let's start with the definition of 'a
Paedophile', in our civilized times.
Paedophiles are individuals for whom sexual fantasies about children occupy a
very prominent place and persist over a long period of time. Some of them will
never become child abusers. For others, however, this danger exists and may be
considerable. Occasionally, individuals who realize that their fantasies are
"abnormal" and who feel that they pose a threat to children take it
upon themselves to consult a specialist.
Only when a paedophile translates his fantasies into action and sexually abuses
a child has he committed an offence in the eyes of the law. Beyond puberty, the
terms paedophile and paedophilia should not be used, though the mistake is
widely made. Confusion arises here because, in the eyes of the law, a child is a
person who has not yet reached the age of majority. This is set at 18 in many
countries (though not all) and in all international conventions. Biologically,
however, children become mature at a much earlier age.
are a number of traits or aspects of paedophiles. These are not exclusive to
paedophiles and indeed need not all occur in one paedophile to be apparent. As
previously mentioned, paedophiles are not a homogenous group but a heterogeneous
group. The traits delineated through a resulting profile, have been based on the
research carried out in recent years. Lack of empathy with children, Low self esteem, Lack of impulse control, Denial, History of previous paedophile
activity, Poor family relationships, Low IQ, Loneliness, depression and
relationship needs or having been themselves sexually abused in the past.
first question to these slanderers - If you accuse Muhammed(saw) of being a paedophile ( May
God forbid and forgive me for using this term even hypothetically to relate it
to him), then, how many of these traits, as mentioned above, are to be found in
any credible or non-credible historical accounts of his life? Dig out a Single!
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) married Hadrat Khadijah (ra) an old widowed
lady. The proposal of marriage is reported to have come from her. At that time Muhammad (saw) was of 25 years while Khadijah (ra) was
40 years old. Hadrat Sauda (ra) was the second wife of the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Both were around 50 years old when they got married.
Even if we look at it from the perspective of the victim, the slander
of Prophet being a paedophile
falls flat on it's nose. What happens to the person who suffers from the acts of such
paedophiles? Simply put, what are the short and long term health and emotional
consequences on those who get abused as a child or an adolescent? 'Peters (1988)1
suggested that child sexual abuse interacts with family background to produce
disruption of the child's developing self-esteem and sense of mastery of the
(agency). It is these deficits, in turn, that increase the likelihood of
psychological problems in later life. This model of developmental deficits
leading to social and personal vulnerabilities in adult life, which in their
turn create an increased risk of mental health problems. Greater vulnerability
to depression is found in women who lack an intimate and confiding relationship
(Henderson and Brown 1988; Harris 1988; Romans et al. 1992). Depression is also
associated with lowered self-esteem and a sense of hopelessness about one's
ability to influence one's life
(Browne et al. 1986, Ingram et al.
the social, interpersonal and sexual problems associated with a history of child
sexual abuse may themselves provide fertile ground for the development of mental
health problems, particularly in the area of depressive disorders.
let's compare these traits to the accounts of life history of Mother Ayesha(ra), the
one, whom ignorant(s) consider as someone who suffered from 'child abuse' at an
early age, by
all civilized definitions.
It's documented that amongst
the all wives of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) Hadrat Ayesha (ra) held an prominent
position. Hadrat Ayesha (ra) was the daughter of the first caliph of Islam
Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ra). Hadrat Ayesha (ra) married at the age of 9,12 or
19 years. Accounts vary. Hadrat Ayesha (ra) was not only superior in knowledge
to all the wives of the Holy Prophet (saw) but also to the various male companions of Prophet
Muhammad (saw). She passed away at the age of 63 years and never once, did she
of her marriage with the prophet neither was she displeased of her father's
consent in having her
married off to the Prophet(saw). Was she scared of saying so? In one of her accounts
mentioned in the same book which tells her age to be around 9, she is
reported to have remarked:
"I looked at the full moon and compared it to the face of prophet of God and I could not decide which one was more beautiful."
This is how
she felt of her husband and conveyed it to others in her mature old age.
lifetime of their husband many women are obedient but the real test arises after
the death. An opportunity then comes to practically do what they have always liked and to abstain from what
they disliked but forced to by their deceased husbands. Even after the death of the Prophet, Ayesha(ra) meticulously
followed all his commands and injunctions. He had preached generosity. She
retained this trait to the end of her life. He had said that for women Hajj is
their jihad. She made it a point to perform Hajj every year.
She was also courageous and brave; she would often visit the
graveyard alone at night to pray for the departed souls. In the thick of
engagements, she would go to battlefields carrying water in leather bags on her
back to quench the thirst of the fighting and injured soldiers. In the battle
of trenches, when the Pagans had besieged Medina and an attack from the Jews was
feared she would go around to inspect the plan of defense by the Muslims. She
had sought permission of the Prophet during his lifetime, to participate
actively in the battles but was refused. She was tender hearted and the fear of
God never left her heart. She used to keep herself busy in prayers.
And finally, for those who see prophet's life as nothing but full of wives
and harem like existence, no better words can better describe the turmoil's that he faced
and abject poverty and hardships he and his wives had to endure in the face of accomplishing
their God given mission.
Mother Ayesha(ra) describes it
in these words: "The family of Muhammad had never eaten their fill of wheat bread for three
successive days since they had migrated to Medina till the death of the Prophet."
(Volume 8, Book
76, Number 461)
Her final respect for the exalted character and truthfulness of her husband
speaks for itself in these words:-
'Aisha said to 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair, "Bury me with my female companions (i.e.
the wives of the Prophet) and do not bury me with the Prophet in the house, for
I do not like to be regarded as sanctified (just for being buried there).''
9:Book 92:Number 428)
what about Zainab(ra)?
to the story of Zainab(ra) who was the Holy Prophet's first cousin, being the
daughter of his aunt, Umaimah, daughter of ‘Abd al-Muttalib. Zainab a full
blooded Arab was intensely proud of her ancestry and exalted social status.
Islam had envisaged and given to the world a civilization and culture in which
there were no class divisions, no hereditary nobility, no vested interests. All
men and women were to be free and equal in the sight of God. The Holy Prophet
wanted to start with his own family carrying into actual effect of this noble
ideal of Islam. Zainab was one of the early converts to Islam, and the Holy
Prophet proposed to her brother that she should be given in marriage to Zaid.
Zaid (ra) was among the slaves whom the Prophet had set free in the early days
of his prophetic mission. Zaid appeared to be more intelligent and more alert
than the others. He belonged to a respectable family, had been kidnapped as a
child and sold from place to place until he reached Makkah. Young Zaid, newly
freed, saw at once that it was better to sacrifice freedom for the sake of
slavery to the Prophet. When the Prophet set the slaves free, Zaid refused to be
freed and asked leave to continue to live with the Prophet. He did so, and as
time went on his attachment to the Prophet grew. But in the meantime Zaid's
father and his uncle were on his track and they ultimately heard he was in
Makkah. In Makkah they traced him in the house of the Prophet. Coming to
the Prophet, they asked for the liberty of Zaid and offered to pay as much
ransom as the Prophet should demand. The Prophet said Zaid was free and could go
with him as he liked. He sent for Zaid and showed him his father and uncle.
After the parties had met and dried their tears, Zaid's father told him that he
had been freed by his kind Master and, as his mother was much afflicted by the
separation, he had better return home. Zaid replied, "Father! Who does
not love his parents? My heart is full of love for you and mother. But I love
this man Muhammad so much that I cannot think of living elsewhere than with him.
I have met you and I am glad.. But separation from Muhammad I cannot
endure." Zaid's father and his uncle did their utmost to persuade Zaid to
return home with them but Zaid did not agree. Upon this the Holy Prophet said,
"Zaid was a freed man already, but from today he will be my son."
Seeing this affection between Zaid and the Prophet, Zaid's father and uncle went
back and Zaid remained with the Prophet (Hisham).
The Prophet wished to marry
Zainab to Zaid who in spite of having been liberated by the Prophet and called
his son, unfortunately still carried the stigma of slavery in the minds of some
people. It was exactly this invidious distinction between ‘free’ and
‘slave’ which the Holy Prophet sought to remove by Zainab’s marriage with
Zaid. Both Zainab and her brother were averse to this match and only yielded
under pressure from the Holy Prophet. It is related that they both desired that
the Holy Prophet himself should marry Zainab. In fact when marriage was first
proposed to Zainab, she gave her assent under the impression that the Prophet
wanted her for himself, but the Prophet insisted that she should accept Zaid.
The marriage leveled to the
ground of all class distinctions and divisions. It was a practical demonstration
of Islam’s noble ideal. The marriage was however, not a happy one. The
marriage however ended in failure not so much due to a difference in the social
status of Zainab and Zaid as to the incompatibility of their dispositions and
temperaments and also due to a feeling of inferiority from which Zaid suffered.
Differences arose, and Zaid expressed a desire to the Holy Prophet of divorcing
Zainab. The news was grieving for the Prophet, for it was he who had insisted
upon the marriage, and he therefore advised Zaid not to divorce her. He feared
that people would object that a marriage which had been arranged by the Prophet
After Zainab(ra) was divorced the
Holy Prophet took her in marriage, that being the wish of the lady and her
relatives before her marriage with Zaid, and the Prophet was, now that the
marriage arranged by him proved unsuccessful, morally bound to accept their
wishes. Moreover, the Qur’an had declared against an adopted son being regarded
as if he were a real son, and now there was an opportunity where the Holy
Prophet could by his own example deal a death-blow to that custom. The reason is
plainly given in the second part of the verse:
“We gave her to thee as a wife, so
that there should be no difficulty for the believers about the wives of their
sounds self serving to many, but wait and continue to read Zainab's(ra)
perspective on this marriage..
The divorced women
till today, are generally
looked down upon in popular estimation, and this was a case in which a freed
slave divorced a lady of high birth. By also taking such a divorced woman as his
wife, the false notion that divorce degraded women was removed as well.
Thus by this act, to which he was morally bound because the lady had been at
first offered in marriage to him, he elevated the whole class of divorced women
who would otherwise suffer life-long humiliation in society.
This simple story is made the
basis of a mean attack on the Holy Prophet. It is stated that the Holy Prophet,
having seen Zainab by chance through a half-open door, was fascinated by her
beauty, and that Zaid, having come to know of this divorced her, and then she
became the Prophet's wife. That more and more prejudiced
writers accept this in present age, only shows how far religious prejudice may carry
"criticism." It is admitted Zainab was the daughter of the Prophet's
real aunt; it is admitted that she was one of the early believers in Islam who
fled to Madinah; it is admitted that the Prophet himself had arranged the
marriage between Zaid and Zainab; and finally it is admitted Zainab desired, as
did also her brother, before she was married to Zaid, that she should be taken
in marriage by the Holy Prophet.
What was it then which
prevented the Prophet from marrying her when she was a virgin and when she
herself ardently desired to get married to him? Had he not seen her before? He
was so closely related to her that on the face of it such a supposition is
absurd. Then there was no seclusion before Zainab’s marriage with the Prophet,
a fact the truth of which is attested by all writers. Having not only seen her
when she was a virgin, but knowing her fully well on account of her close
relationship to him and her early belief in Islam, while both she and her
relatives were desirous that the Prophet should take her for a wife, what
hindered the Prophet from marrying her? The story is so absurd that any man
possessing ordinary common sense would unhesitatingly reject it.
If he had any desire for
self-gratification or if he had any passion for the lady, he would not have
refused her when she was offered to him as a virgin. Refusal of her hand in the
first instance, and take her in marriage when being divorced she was lowered in
general estimation, shows conclusively that his motive in this marriage was
anything but self-gratification.
The good and noble Rev.
Bosworth Smith finds nothing in this marriage to cavil at. He says
should be remembered, however, that most of Muhammad’s marriages may be
explained, at least, as much by his pity for the forlorn condition of the
persons concerned, as by other motives. They were almost all of them widows who
were not remarkable for their beauty of their wealth, but quite the reverse. May
not this fact, and his undoubted faithfulness to Khadija till her dying day, and
till he himself was fifty years of age, give us additional ground to hope that
calumny or misconception has been at work in the story of Zainab"
(Muhammad and Mohammedanism)
In the words of
Ayesha(ra), this is how Zainab(ra) felt about her marriage with the Prophet(saw):
Zaid bin Haritha (Zainab's first husband) came to the
Prophet complaining about his wife. The Prophet kept on saying (to him), "Be
afraid of Allah and keep your wife." Aisha said, "If Allah's Apostle were to
conceal anything (of the Quran he would have concealed this Verse."
Zainab used to boast before the wives of the Prophet and
used to say, "You were given in marriage by your families, while I was married
(to the Prophet) by Allah from over seven Heavens."
And Thabit(narrator) recited, "The
Verse:-- 'But (O Muhammad) you did hide in your heart that which Allah was about
to make manifest, you did fear the people,'
was revealed in connection with Zainab and Zaid bin Haritha." (Volume
9, Book 93, Number 516)
yes, he always was and still remains a role model for Muslims who try to emulate
his life achievements and levels of piety and righteousness based upon the
narrations found in the books of Hadiths and passed over from generations
to generations. If one chooses to find out, the statistics of Muslims, who
chose to follow the most apparently lustful and sensous aspects of their prophets
life, i.e the two you mentioned above, his marriage to a girl, almost 40
years below his age and a seemingly incestous relation ship with his
daughter in law, you will be hardpressed to find even a respectable two
digit number in percentage, except a few perverts here and there, which
all societies have. Now read these few reports dealing with the clergy
(not a few wayward common men):
Abuse - School covers up for absconding Swami.
cases: Hare Krishnas - Lift the lid on History of Child Abuse
Paedophiles and Protestants - 70 churches/week in USA alone, are
accused of Child Abuse in last decade.
challenge you to dig out a few reports of any of such incidents/cases
which were attributed to Muslim imams or priests assigned to any of the
mosques or madrassas.
statistics emanating from everywhere but the Muslim world, speak so loudly
in defense of piety and credibility of God's messenger and his message, it's a sign of divine
retribution to silence the ignorant, pitiable slanderers of our times and
this is how God manifests it's presence in all times to come.
brothers in Islam. As Salaam aleykum. JazakAllah Khair for the fine work you're
doing in dispelling misconceptions and confusions in the minds of Muslims as
well as non-Muslims. My question pertains to the following verse: “…They
are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them…”(Al-Baqarah: 187)
which appears under the topic of spouses should guard their 'bedroom
secrets'. Now I happen to read this
1, Book 6, Number 299: Narrated 'Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad: (on the authority of
his father) 'Aisha said: "Whenever Allah's Apostle wanted to fondle anyone
of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar and
start fondling her." 'Aisha added, "None of you could control his
sexual desires as the Prophet could."] Was it really necessary here that
scholar Abdur Rehman or even Ayesha(ra) report the goings of their bedroom in so
detail even if it contains a high moral value. I mean, wasn't it sufficient to
just say that Prophet(pbuh) prohibited intercourse during menses? Please throw
some light on this seemingly contradictory hadith wrt Quranic verse that I cited
above. Thanks in advance for your time.
All praise and thanks are due to
Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In his response, to the question you
raised, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh `Abdel Khaliq Hasan Ash-Shareef,
“Dear brother, you should not be
confused because there is no contradiction at all. The wives of the Prophet were
the mothers of the believers and hence they were unmarriageable to all Muslims after the Prophet’s demise. Almighty Allah says: “The
Prophet is closer to the believers than their selves, and his wives are (as)
(Al-Ahzab: 6) “And it is not for you to cause annoyance to
the messenger of Allah, nor that ye should ever marry his wives after him. Lo!
that in Allah's sight would be an enormity.” (Al-Ahzab: 53)
happens in the Prophet’s house is legislation for the whole Ummah to be guided
by in their lives. Therefore, whenever a wife of the Prophet was asked about a
matter related to the Prophet relation with his wives, she would explain it
without shyness within the Islamic manners.
Almighty Allah says: “Verily
in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looks unto Allah
and the last Day, and remembers Allah much.”
“…And whatsoever the messenger
gives you, take it. And whatsoever he forbids, abstain (from it). And keep
your duty to Allah. Lo! Allah is stern in reprisal.” (Al-Hashr: 7)
“Those who follow the messenger, the
Prophet who can neither read nor write, whom they will find described in the
Torah and the Gospel (which are) with them. He will enjoin on them that which is
right and forbid them that which is wrong. He will make lawful for them all good
things and prohibit for them only the foul; and he will relieve them of their
burden and the fetters that they used to wear. Then those who believe in him,
and honor him and help him, and follow the light which is sent down with him:
they are the successful.”
However, humans other than the Prophet
are not legislators nor are their lives taken as an example to be followed and,
therefore, are required not to reveal bed secrets. The Prophet is the example
and model for Muslims and hence his life in its details is to be followed as an
example for Muslims. Therefore, we are to know some of the home or bed secrets
so that we know what is right to follow and be guided to the truth.”
Here, I would like to add that even in
the Hadith you mentioned which abided by the highest standards of manners and
noble language, it was necessary to explain what is permissible of physical
contact between the spouses not only to state that intercourse was prohibited
If you are still in need of more
information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us
all to the straight path!
Allah Almighty knows best. [Sheikh
Abdel Khaliq Hasan Ash-Shareef ]