Gulf's top five jobs -  a satire
 
    If you are residing in one of the Gulf countries as an immigrant, be it UAE, Saudia, Muscat or Bahrain, chances are...that at some point or the other during the span of your stay, you are bound to realize, contrary to what you believed in during the course of your studies in childhood and adolescence, that the key to success in life holds in your excellence in studies and acquiring high grades on your graduation, is no longer valid. So much seems to depend upon the way we fare during our college studies. The endless quest of attaining above 80%-90% of marks ends when we get into a high profile, high paying job. Sometimes, a few bright students gets directly picked up from the campus interviews even before they have completed their degrees. 

But that was then...when the world seems to revolve around attaining engineering or doctorate as the only way to salvation. If you were not an engineer or a doctor or an MBA, you were non-existent. Coming to the Gulf, I was introduced to a whole different job scenario. The playing field isn't as leveled as was made out to be by my childhood teachers. Education isn't the only thing that seems to pay in all the parts of the world. I always wondered, what will happen to all those average or even below average students, who didn't comprise of the creamy layer during our graduation days? Will they die of starvation or will have to be contended with second class jobs and have a hard time making both ends meet?

On the contrary, to my amazement, I discovered later that those are the very guys and girls, who form the majority of the people driving around in BMW's and staying around in 5 Stars these days.

How did this happen? The answer is simple...an age old saying, "God gives whom He pleases". I couldn't find a better rationale behind the ongoing phenomenon. Please let me know, if you do.

So, as a foundation for your kids or younger siblings, (coz if you are reading this, then there is a high probability, that you are way past your study years) give them the upbringing, that will put them in one of the top slots, that is, if you consider money as the scale for gauging success or failure in life.

PS: All advertisements are authentic and taken from a recruiters web-site  and a leading daily newspaper.

Top slot No. 1

Executive Secretary, smart, young, energetic, height not less than 165 cm, well experienced, computer literate, required for a reputed group of companies. Salary AED 15000 (US $4000 pm) Fax CV xx-xxxxxxx

Female Executive Secretary, young, presentable with fluent English, UK/US educated, Age 22-28 yrs, good computer knowledge, excellent marketing skills, on father's / husband's visa, required. Salary AED 12000 (US $ 3250 pm) Call xx-xxxxxx.

Top slot No. 2

Ladies - 2 Nos., young, UK / US educated, required to work 5 days a week, in a gymnasium. Training provided. Salary AED 8000-9000  (US$ 2500 pm) Tel. xx-xxxxxx.

Top slot No. 3

Experienced Masseuse, part-time / full time, required for a Chinese massage centre. Salary AED 5000-6000 (Approx US$1600 pm) Contact xx-xxxxxx / xx-xxxxxx.
Experienced Beauty Therapist, UK trained, required for a reputed beauty salon. Salary AED 6000 (US$1600 pm) + other benefits offered. Call xx-xxxxxxx.

Top slot No. 4

Position : WEBMASTER Salary : Dhs. 5,000/- (US$1350 pm)                                      Job Description :For a leading IT company. Candidates must have experience working on NT, Java script, VB script, ASP and HTML script languages and Internet architecture. Must have at least 1 year experience as a Webmaster. Skills on Photoshop and flash a must.

Network Engineer, with 3 - 5 years experience in networking, required. Graduate with MCSE & Lotus Notes qualifications. Experience on Windows NT and UNIX will be an advantage.Salary AED 4500 (US$1200 pm). Negotiable for the right candidate. Fax CV to xx-xxxxxxx.

Top slot No. 5

General physician / Specialist, with or without DOH licence, for general practice. Salary AED 4500/- (US$ 1200 pm), negotiable. Fax CV to xx-xxxxxx.

Analysis:

   As we can gather from the majority of employment openings, the top three slots are reserved for ladies. Poor guys!!! Education holds no criteria. You should be YOUNG, tall, presentable (face it, it means 'beautiful'), computer knowledge is essential, basic word-processing is sufficient most of the times and if you are a UK/US educated, then sky is the limit. ( They say the reason for this is, that the degrees are not sold in 'Rupees' and 'takas' out there, contrary to some south east-Asian countries. In US/UK, they sell them in Dollars and Pounds) Hence the need to get a US/UK certified degree is so essential.

The last two slots are reserved for the highly qualified and least wanted 'engineers' and 'doctors'. IT seems to be the only field which manages to sometimes fetch you a salary of five figures and if you do, you are lucky. Sales oriented field falls somewhere in the middle of the salary brackets and ranges widely but keeping the heat of the place in mind, where summer lasts for more than 8-9 months and temps soar to +50C, sales isn't an alternative I'll consider. You have your prerogative.

So, why do people yearn to come to this place when the job scenario is so dismal. Well, mainly for two reasons:

1. Emirates is a secure place. Law and order is one of the best in the world. You can roam around on the street and 1:00 AM wearing 1.00 kg of gold and chances are, no one will dare to touch you. Not a big deal? but I like it. This makes the society livable.

2. Jobs are volatile but think about it, whatever you earn is tax-free. Government doesn't asks for any taxes on your income. So, No taxes- no job security. Scales are balanced, Aren't they?

So, I have made up my mind, If I get to live here long enough to grow up my kids, then I'll try to groom them to be able to fit in one of the above five slots, possibly the fifth one, if he/she has the ability and the inclination, for I feel, no matter the amount of money returns, that's one job, that is solely dedicated to the selfless service to humanity, if pursued in the right way. And as they still say "God gives whom He pleases...".

I'd like to add a few lines which were sent to me by one of my friend. It talks about the traits of a person who can be sure that he has lived in the Middle East for too long.

You know that you've been living for too long in the Middle East when:

You're not surprised to find out that what looked like a dog, turned out to be a goat in the passenger seat of the car.
You think the uncut version of "Titanic" is provocative.
You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah".
You don't expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.
You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside.
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid.
You believe that speed limits are only advisory.
You have no problem with trailers driving 90kph on the state roads and cyclists driving 10kph on the highways.
You think all cops drive BMWs and Mercedes Benz'.
You are not too sure of you are within or outside the missile range of Israel.
You aren't surprised when the person at the grocery store seems to know all the languages of the world.
You fully expect to pay the fine when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign.
You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first .
You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light on the other side will turn green.
You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks.
You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the cab driver behind you honking his horn.
You think that all gas stations are made of marble and granite.
You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one.
You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer.
You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought.
You expect gold for every birthday.
You think Pepsi begins with a "B" 
You think water only comes in bottles.
You understand that when someone says "Bukra (tomorrow), Insha'Allah" to you it really means "Sometime during this calendar year"...if you're lucky!

 
       By GOnes